Bad Boys for Life

It’s really strange how most girls want a bad boy, what is the appeal of this….the bad ass personality, the possibility of being dominated, is it a status that we feel when we found someone who tends to bend the rules? I’ve always asked myself  ‘why am I attracted to bad boys?’ Maybe it stems from possibly father issues, maybe because of social media or is it because all girls want a ‘bad boy’ so therefore I do too lol :(. So its more a competitive thing hmmmmm lol???

I met Leo  (not real name) on a Thursday evening at a coffee shop downtown, I arrived there first and I was nervous as usual. I don’t know if others feel the same way I do on the first meeting, but its a mix emotions of feeling nervousness but still excited, feelings of being scared of the possibility of being stood up but still hopeful that the guy will be great. I try to be optimistic for every date I go on but I also know the feeling of being disappointed and hurt, being disappointed and hurt sometimes comes just as often as excitement when it comes to online dating or dating in general. I’ve been stood up before so now I mentally prep myself all the time, just in case that happens again. ( getting stood up for the first time is another story)

Since I was early, I debated back and forth if I should take off the million of layers that I had on, but I also didn’t want to come off too eager  like I’ve been there waiting for him for a lifetime so I decided to take a seat with all my layers in tact and only half zip the parka I had on. It was WINTER in Calgary so I was wearing 4 layers. I had on a T-shirt, then a sweat shirt and then a chunky cardigan over the sweater and finally my parka….lol how attractive 😉

I waited and waited and still no one, 5 minutes turned to 10 minutes and I started to freak out. I was about to give him call but as soon as I picked up my phone he walked in and sat down. He apologized that he a few minutes late, he told me he came straight from work and traffic was bad. He was working as an engineer of some sort at some office that I didn’t really know much about. He sold me at the word ENGINEER, hehehehe!

As he sat down, I stood up and began taking off the one of my many layers I had on. He looked up as I struggled taking off my over bundled parka…..this was funny and I assumed he found it cute that I was struggling so he assisted while smirking at me while helping me pull off my sleeve.

We lined up at the cashier and ordered our drinks and chit chatted about what we did so far in the day, we ordered two London fogs and went back to the table where we originally left our belongings.

We sat back at the table and it started off a little awkward, he told me in the first few minutes of our conversation that I was his first ‘ blind date” and he hasn’t met anyone online before. This put a lot of pressure on me since I wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe he felt very underwhelmed by my first impression, maybe he thought I duped him lol!

I started off with asking a lot of questions about him….like simple questions like do you have pet? He answered with a lot of closed ended answers, his responses made it very difficult to start at conversation. I laughed and I made a comment implying he was at fault for making the conversation between us so dull. He then responded with a giggle and then started to ask me questions. By now I think we overcame the awkward silence and now we were settled in and we were able to hold an ongoing conversation.

The conversation went deep fast and to this day I’m shocked by how much he revealed to me about his past. After a few laughs, he opened up. The thing that amazed me was his openness and his willingness to share about his family, his friend and his PAST ACTIONS.

Sometimes too much information becomes too intense for a coffee date and in turn becomes a huge turn off , however the information he shared with me was quite heavy but I enjoyed hearing about them. These stories might have made girls run away from him before, I however was intrigued and I pushed him to reveal more about his past.

hmmmmmm curious???? what made him a bad boy??

Well when Leo began spilling his dirty secrets this is what he revealed; that he had a troublesome past and that the rules wasn’t his friend at the age of 16-24. He seen the power of greed from men who wanted wealth fast, he has also fallen in the hands of greed and in which he was fixated on money schemes, drug life and gang warfare. Leo told me stories about his run ins with the law  when he was 16 and how he fell into the cycle of loathing himself for the actions he did but then loving the reward of dirty money.

He explained how he was able overcome the odds and why he moved here to the city. To get away from all the negative influences in his life, he pursued to finish his education and make a new name for himself. The fact that he was able to move on from his past so quickly and then to become a successful engineer made him even more attractive. Yes, his physical appearance appealed to me from the start but his story of overcoming what he went through really impressed me.

Leo said that he was lucky that he was able to accomplish what he has so far, he told me that he had a lot of family members that were still involved in his illegal past, some family members and friends were still struggling from their past actions. I always asked him, if he regretted his past and if he could re- live and undo what he grew up in….would he? Leo’s response was always ‘no’! He told me his past made him who he is and that he only hated the part in his life where he got caught.

Leo and I saw each other a few times after and I remember on the last time I ever saw him, the topic of his past was brought up. I don’t remember how we got into an argument  but I knew what the argument was about. Leo implied that he missed his past life, he missed the adrenalin rush, the excitement of fast money, the high life. The fact that he was telling me this made me angry since I could never understand why someone would want to go back to that kinda of lifestyle.

I asked why? he responded by saying, I could be making so much more…..(seriously?)

After the argument, we calmed down and I PRETENDED that he didn’t mean what he said. We spent the night together and he left the next day. A few days after, he texted me a message saying that I was a nice girl but he didn’t want to GET ME INVOLVED, that I didn’t belong in his LIFE.

Bad Boys for Money $$$

 

 

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