Here is a little more information about me….maybe a little too much information hehehe. I started online dating only three years ago and its crazy too say that in the past three years, it has been a whirlwind of dates. I have been lucky enough and unlucky enough in having the chance to get to know the many different men that have walked in and OUT of my life.
Social media has been a gateway for me to meet people and it still is. I remember when online dating was a taboo and it was embarrassing to admit that I was meeting people online and now its become this norm. Right now I don’t know any single women or men that have not or is currently using some sort of social media to obtain dates. When I first started , it was intimating and scary. I wasn’t quite sure how to go about the idea of dating online?
I understand why online dating is at its peak right now, its easy and at a click aka the swipe of the screen we could be on a date in just a few hours. Now I know what your thinking….swiping for a date Linda??? or swiping for a booty call??? lol!!! Anyone and everyone who knows me, knows I’m old school and I need food first 😉
Three years ago, I found a boy online that I felt I could talk too. Since he was my first boy that I chatted with, I wasn’t quite sure how to flirt or communicate through text, the first few conversations I had with him were very dull and direct….
This is example of how some of the first conversations went:
HIM- ” hey gorgeous, how are you”
ME- “how are you”
ME- “you are attractive to btw”
HIM- “what are you up to this Friday? I’m surprised a girl like you isn’t out ;)”
ME- “I’m tired, going to sleep early”
HIM -“OOOhhh bed early hey?”
ME- “yep early”
HIM- “lol ok hahaha”
Seriously Linda, this is you being flirty?? I’m shocked that he continued to message me.
It took me a few messages but I finally understood the art of ‘message flirting’ not ‘sexting’ but flirting lol! Believe me I didn’t conquer this with the first man I encountered through the web but learned the hard way after noticing the pattern of men who STOPPED MESSAGING ME AFTER 6 BUBBLES …..lol
*what is a bubble…? A bubble to me is speech balloon, I call them bubbles lol! this would be a classic online conversation I had with men…..nothing more then 6 bubbles hahaha!
bubble1-Boy: hey Linda, how are you?
bubble2-Linda: I’m doing pretty good, how are you?
bubble3-Boy: thats nice to hear, what did you do today?
bubble4-Boy: just about to head out to catch the ballgame, you play any sports?
bubble5– Linda: I just worked and now I’m home
bubble6-Linda: no I do not.
WOW…LINDA SOUNDS SO INVITING AND WARM….LOL,
The realization that I was MESSAGING ALL WRONG didn’t come easy! Having a conversation with a stranger is hard enough but to actually attract another human in an engaging conversation is even more difficult. There is the need of balance in a conversation, you have to make sure you are revealing some but not too much, messaging messages to show your interested without coming off as too eager or too easy. Believe me this did take me a lot of trying and failing to figure the best way to communicate flirting.
This boy, the first boy continued with my boring/dull chats for about two weeks until he finally asked to meet up. I remember how nervous I was, just thinking about him gave me butterflies. He worked as a finance guy at a bank and he volunteered on the weekends to teach Kids martial arts. He was a professional fighter in jiu-jitsu which I especially loved! He was smart, sweet and responsible, all qualities that I really looked for in a guy.
We met in McKenzie Town at the pub besides Davids tea (I don’t remember the pub name…my bad!) We met during the week and I was so nervous, my palms were sweaty and I called my friend beforehand just so I can ease my nerves. I walked into the pub and stood at the entrance until the hostess asked me if she could help. I didn’t want to tell her why I was there or who I was meeting so I told her its ok, my friend was waiting for me inside and I can find him on my own. He wasn’t my friend or acquaintance; he was stranger but do I tell the hostess that?
“Sorry hostess, I need you to help me find this potential stranger that may or may not look like his profile pic. I don’t know what I’m looking for but I think he may be tall, big build and handsome with a great personality…maybe? can you lead me to that please? wtf?”
I called him and he said he was inside right by the windows. I glanced around the pub and noticed him right away. He smiled and I walked towards him. He got off his seat and stood and greeted me and then hugged me. That was really sweet 😉
I was nervous throughout the whole date, I tried to hide it from him but the fact that I was trying so hard to be cool, only made me more nervous thinking about how to act. What people don’t know is that when I get extremely nervous, my upper lip twitches…so embarrassing, however I think I contained it well since he didn’t say anything lol. (I think my twitch isn’t noticeable since none of my friends or family have ever said anything to me….or its because they keep it to themselves so they won’t hurt my feelings?? who knows lol)
After I left the pub, my girlfriend called me and asked me how it was. I told her exactly what happened and how nervous I was. I was so happy that I got through it. She asked me if I was planning to see him again and to be honest I wasn’t sure, though he was nice and easy to talk to, I didn’t feel anything for him. I didn’t feel a romantic connection and I wasn’t attracted to him as much as I was to his online profile.
He messaged me after the pub and said it was nice meeting me and he would like to see me again. After some thought, I realize I didn’t have anything to lose and I needed more time together to get to know him.
I continued onto a second date with him a week after. We met on a Saturday night and we had dinner at Cleaver on 17th. During this time, Cleaver was a new restaurant that just opened. We both spoke about how we wanted to try this new restaurant during our first meeting, so we decided Cleaver would be the perfect location to meet on the second date.
Dinner went well, the food was great and the conversation was great. Throughout dinner we had three drinks each so the great date was turning to be an amazing date as the night progressed 😉 I am not picky when it comes to food, I love trying new things and to be honest all food is yummy to me 😉 Because I am easy when it comes to food, he ordered. He ordered a few dishes that were tapas style to share and then a few deserts to share at the end. I loved all of it and I think, we were both amazed at the food and enjoyed every aspect of the restaurant.
As we finished the last drinks, I definitely felt the alcohol kick in, I leaned forward with both elbows on the table just so I can be closer to him. I remember laughing louder than normal. I was feeling amazing and for a moment , I was truly happy to be there with him.
The bill came to the table and there was an awkward moment of who was going to get the bill. I caught him looking at it but no hand reached for it so I finally did. OK, now here is the dilemma and the great debate….im a little old school and I believe in equality and sharing, however when it comes to ‘wooing’ me, I do feel that a man should pick up the first bill. When I grabbed it, he didn’t say anything to stop me. So you know where I’m going with this lol……he ordered, he asked me out and now I’m paying lol!!! whaaattt??? We didn’t even “go dutch”. I laid my cash on the table and he grabbed the bill and my cash and brought it to the waiter…..wait…did he do this to make it look like he paid? whaattt? seriously? Am I crazy for thinking this lol!
He thanked me for dinner and walked me to my car, he leaned in for a kiss but after his action of not picking up the bill-I was so NOT impressed and a kiss was definitely off the menu for the night.
I got over this quite quickly and I decided to forget that I paid and he didn’t. I began telling myself that I was stupid for wanting him to pick up the bill. I decided to continuing chatting with him and see where this was going to go. He apparently didn’t feel the same.
After a free meal from me and a few short messages after, this boy faded off and never messaged me again…womp womp….
yep that was the first online date I went on hehehe 😦