Meeting the parents is always a nerve wrecking moment. No matter who you are in the relationship, whether your meeting the boyfriends parents or your boyfriend is meeting your parents; the moments leading up to actual meeting and the meeting itself is a VERY BIG DEAL!
Meeting the parents is a big deal because it comes with a lot of opinions and possibly judgement. Parents will always have tons a questions and they are very observant in the relationship to spot out the flaws. Parents will always yearn to know if ‘this person’ is the best option for their daughter. No one wants to be the one who has the bad partner, no one wants their parents not to like their potential “one”, however meeting the parents is crucial.
I’ve always known how important meeting the parents is but in the past weeks Ive thought about the idea of “meeting the parents” more deeply and I’m begining to realize that the situation is extremely important because it is a revelation point in a relationship, to see if the relationship is meant to continue or end.
I was invited over for dinner last Thursday at one of my close friend place in Chestemere. Over dinner is when his friend told me the story about how she recently broke up with the guy she’s been seeing for the past 6 months. I remember when I caught up with her a few months before, she told me how great her relationship was going. She was happy and I remember her smiling as she telling me about him. I didn’t know her well enough at that time to truly know if she was acting or pretending but what I saw was a very excited woman who was experiencing the beginning stages of a wonderful relationship. Who would’ve imagined that it would end so soon.
She told us the story that the guy she’s was with was being very persistent in meeting her parents. As a bystander hearing this, hearing that any guy wanted to meet his girlfriend parents could only mean that he was thinking long-term. We would assume that the relationship was going well and quite serious if he was willing to be a situation where he would be put on the spot. In this case, as a girl we would assume he was commited.
After a few weeks of her planning and arranging the best time for her parents and her siblings to come together to meet her boyfriend, she finally set a date. Her family and her boyfriend was going to come together on a Saturday night for a friendly game of Locked Room.
Days leading up to it seem to be quite normal to her, she was excited that the meeting of her family and boyfriend was finally happening. She told me the night went well, everyone got along and the conversation was ongoing throughout the night. All the signs looked promising 🙂 She was thrilled with the entire exchange. Her family really like him and praised the many good things about her potential ‘one’.
The Monday after the family meeting, she and her boyfriend went to a neighborhood pub. She thought this was going to be normal date night but as they sat down, the drama began. Once they got there, they sat and ordered drinks and food. They started talking about the past Saturday and how the family meet and greet went. This was the beginning of the conversation that led to heart-break. They started discussing about the future and what he wanted and what she wanted. Clearly both parties didn’t align.
She asked tough questions and expected answers but all he could give her was excuses that she wasnt the one for him. He admitted that he felt this way for a while now and he was being selfish trying to balance this relationship with his own life.
This part is upsetting because if he didnt feel that this relationship wasnt going anywhere for him then why meet the parents? I think he was being selfish not realizing the potential consquences. He didnt value her in a relationship or valued the relationship she had with her family. He was fine with getting involved with her family dynamic as soon as possible but then reacted just as quickly to back out of the relationship.
I couldnt imagine talking so highly about someone to my mom and dad and then finally allowing them to meet eachother and then breaking up shortly after….this would devastate me! WHAT TWISTED MAN WOULD WANT TO MEET A GIRLS PARENTS WITH THE INTENTIONS TO BREAK UP WITH HER AFTER???
my question for him-
were you always unsure and the parental meeting finalized your feelings? or did you already knew that you didn’t want to be with her but didnt have the guts to end it sooner? dude…whats your problem?
On Friday they were in happy relationship, on Saturday he met the parents and on Monday they broke up.
some things will never add up 😦