VanCity heart break

Sometimes do you scroll through your instagram feed and accidentally run into a picture of someone who you sorta/kinda remember. Well, I have and this usually leads to me  looking at the pic a few seconds longer than I want too. I always stare at the pic and think and wonder what that person is up to now. Few weeks ago I was scrolling on Instagram and came across a pic of a man I kinda/sorta know and a women. This is a man who will never know how much of impact he had on me.

During the month March 2015, I went  to Vancouver to visit my best friend to celebrate my Birthday.  I was so excited to take a little break from work and Calgary, so I knew that it was going to be a great long weekend for me. She showed me around the city and her favorite places she discovered around VanCity since she moved out there. We caught up with old friends and spent a lot of long nights reminiscing about the past, gossiped and of course spoke about men. At this time I wasn’t seeing anyone or had anyone that I was interested in so being very open about boys and relationship was easy.

I told her that I wanted to try out online dating while I was out in Vancouver…maybe catch a few free drink dates and get new stories/new company for her and I….LOL. The fact that she was open to it was awesome, but secretly I think she knew that I would be way too much of a coward to meet someone so fast. Knowing myself, I need the long rapport through constant messaging before a meet. The fact is- I was only there for a weekend and a weekend would be way too short of a notice for me to be comfortable with meeting a stranger…….(this was 2015… opinion on this matter has changed hehehehe)

Over the weekend, I did have a few ongoing conversation with men around VanCity, however I didn’t end up meeting any of them. One of the guys actually did ask me to meet up for drinks at a Gastown pub but unfortunately I was flying out that day so we weren’t able to meet. After I told him I was not able to, I assumed he would want to end the conversation with me since I was not local anymore but he still messaged and asked to do video chat with me while I was in Calgary and him in Vancouver. I continued chatting with him for six months. Yes, I started to chat with him in March and continued until August.

While he and I were messaging each other daily, I was also dating others. Since it was kinda long distance and this new dating game has no rules, we accepted the fact that we were far apart and were okay with each other seeing other people. I told him about my life, my work and the occasion coffee dates I went on…the good and the bad. He gave me constant affirmation and spoke the truth when it came to men and my dates. It was nice to have someone to talk to who boosted your self-esteem after a nightmare of a date. After every date, he was there. He was there to reassure how great I was and ask if I was ok.

As I opened up to him, he started to open up to me. He told me about his past relationship, his heart-break and how he was finding ways to pick himself back up from a relationship that he wasn’t sure he wanted to end. There were a few times he asked me come a meet him in Vancouver but with work and with my finances it was hard to make time to go over there for summer.

Finally summer was over and Fall approached and the weeks leading up to September, I told him I was going to be back in Vancouver to visit my best friend again and that we should meet up. I thought he would be excited but his reaction wasn’t what I expected. He responded by asking that I was going to Vancouver for ME and not for HIM. In true honesty…..I WAS GOING OUT TO VANCOUVER FOR MY BEST FRIEND but meeting him would be like a cherry on top!

You know how this ends…..I flew out and the day that we were supposed to meet…he BACKED OUT.  I remember the exact moment when I received his long ass text telling me that he wasn’t ready to meet me. I was at sushi restaurant in Yaletown for dinner with my best friend when I got the text. I started tearing up and excused myself to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for at least five minutes as I whimpered in the bathroom stall. Six months of conversation and he DIDNT want to meet? 😦

In my crazy imaginative mind, I really thought we would meet and hit it off and he would be wanting to spend the rest of the days I was in Vancouver with me. I thought my visit will be filled with laughs, joy and he would be convincing me to stay. I know I’m one of those CRAZY ASS girls that get way too ahead of themselves, the girl who becomes way to attached. I NEED HELP!!!

Looking back, my reaction to the rejection was horrible. I cried thinking about the rejection the whole night. I spent the next day on the beach trying to get over it and in which Aziz Nasari’s book really helped. This book was the reason why I smiled though the streaming tears. He had his reasons why he didn’t meet me and its ok. Things happen and even though it was painful at that moment of heart-break, it’s always better that you took the initial rejection and turn it to positive outlook on yourself, your love life. I was hurt, now I’m not…

The thing I learned from talking to him and messaging him throughout the six months is how easy it is to open up to a stranger. I loved the fact that I can be open and honest with him with no feeling of judgement from him. For the time we messaged and spoke to one another, he gave me confidence to be comortable with myself. Before him, I’ve always felt that online dating was filled with fake perceptions and games that needed to be played right but with him it was nothing like that.

The photo I came across on Instagram was of him and his new girlfriend. They looked cute and happy together. Though I did not get the happy ending I was wanted with him, I’m extremely happy that two strangers were able to find eachother.

Love is everywhere.


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