VanCity heart break

Sometimes do you scroll through your instagram feed and accidentally run into a picture of someone who you sorta/kinda remember. Well, I have and this usually leads to me  looking at the pic a few seconds longer than I want too. I always stare at the pic and think and wonder what that person is up to now. Few weeks ago I was scrolling on Instagram and came across a pic of a man I kinda/sorta know and a women. This is a man who will never know how much of impact he had on me.

During the month March 2015, I went  to Vancouver to visit my best friend to celebrate my Birthday.  I was so excited to take a little break from work and Calgary, so I knew that it was going to be a great long weekend for me. She showed me around the city and her favorite places she discovered around VanCity since she moved out there. We caught up with old friends and spent a lot of long nights reminiscing about the past, gossiped and of course spoke about men. At this time I wasn’t seeing anyone or had anyone that I was interested in so being very open about boys and relationship was easy.

I told her that I wanted to try out online dating while I was out in Vancouver…maybe catch a few free drink dates and get new stories/new company for her and I….LOL. The fact that she was open to it was awesome, but secretly I think she knew that I would be way too much of a coward to meet someone so fast. Knowing myself, I need the long rapport through constant messaging before a meet. The fact is- I was only there for a weekend and a weekend would be way too short of a notice for me to be comfortable with meeting a stranger…….(this was 2015…..my opinion on this matter has changed hehehehe)

Over the weekend, I did have a few ongoing conversation with men around VanCity, however I didn’t end up meeting any of them. One of the guys actually did ask me to meet up for drinks at a Gastown pub but unfortunately I was flying out that day so we weren’t able to meet. After I told him I was not able to, I assumed he would want to end the conversation with me since I was not local anymore but he still messaged and asked to do video chat with me while I was in Calgary and him in Vancouver. I continued chatting with him for six months. Yes, I started to chat with him in March and continued until August.

While he and I were messaging each other daily, I was also dating others. Since it was kinda long distance and this new dating game has no rules, we accepted the fact that we were far apart and were okay with each other seeing other people. I told him about my life, my work and the occasion coffee dates I went on…the good and the bad. He gave me constant affirmation and spoke the truth when it came to men and my dates. It was nice to have someone to talk to who boosted your self-esteem after a nightmare of a date. After every date, he was there. He was there to reassure how great I was and ask if I was ok.

As I opened up to him, he started to open up to me. He told me about his past relationship, his heart-break and how he was finding ways to pick himself back up from a relationship that he wasn’t sure he wanted to end. There were a few times he asked me come a meet him in Vancouver but with work and with my finances it was hard to make time to go over there for summer.

Finally summer was over and Fall approached and the weeks leading up to September, I told him I was going to be back in Vancouver to visit my best friend again and that we should meet up. I thought he would be excited but his reaction wasn’t what I expected. He responded by asking that I was going to Vancouver for ME and not for HIM. In true honesty…..I WAS GOING OUT TO VANCOUVER FOR MY BEST FRIEND but meeting him would be like a cherry on top!

You know how this ends…..I flew out and the day that we were supposed to meet…he BACKED OUT.  I remember the exact moment when I received his long ass text telling me that he wasn’t ready to meet me. I was at sushi restaurant in Yaletown for dinner with my best friend when I got the text. I started tearing up and excused myself to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for at least five minutes as I whimpered in the bathroom stall. Six months of conversation and he DIDNT want to meet? 😦

In my crazy imaginative mind, I really thought we would meet and hit it off and he would be wanting to spend the rest of the days I was in Vancouver with me. I thought my visit will be filled with laughs, joy and he would be convincing me to stay. I know I’m one of those CRAZY ASS girls that get way too ahead of themselves, the girl who becomes way to attached. I NEED HELP!!!

Looking back, my reaction to the rejection was horrible. I cried thinking about the rejection the whole night. I spent the next day on the beach trying to get over it and in which Aziz Nasari’s book really helped. This book was the reason why I smiled though the streaming tears. He had his reasons why he didn’t meet me and its ok. Things happen and even though it was painful at that moment of heart-break, it’s always better that you took the initial rejection and turn it to positive outlook on yourself, your love life. I was hurt, now I’m not…..lol.

The thing I learned from talking to him and messaging him throughout the six months is how easy it is to open up to a stranger. I loved the fact that I can be open and honest with him with no feeling of judgement from him. For the time we messaged and spoke to one another, he gave me confidence to be comortable with myself. Before him, I’ve always felt that online dating was filled with fake perceptions and games that needed to be played right but with him it was nothing like that.

The photo I came across on Instagram was of him and his new girlfriend. They looked cute and happy together. Though I did not get the happy ending I was wanted with him, I’m extremely happy that two strangers were able to find eachother.

Love is everywhere.

Linda

A little too late for Morocco

I do believe in second chances and that someone who really wants to, can change. I like to be hopeful and as a girl, I will hang on the “hope string”  for way too long. From the first meeting all the way to the present date, sometimes we want a relationship to work so badly that we are willing to sacrifice our feelings. I’ve done this and in the end it always leads to heart-break.

I was dating “Morocco guy” for a few months, we met a little before Halloween and continued to see each other regularly through the early months of 2016. We met online and our first meeting was over coffee at Purple Perk in Missions. I remember it being very cold  that evening and it was hard to start-up my car for the drive to meet him.

Once I got to the meeting point, I remember being nervous as usual but really excited. He got there first and as I walked in, I spotted him right away. He was tall, dark and handsome. As he stood up to greet me, he towered over me which I loved. His complexion was olive-y with bit of a darker tint. We hugged awkwardly and proceeded to the front cash to order out lattes.

The conversation was very similar to the other first dates I have had before. I was comfortable and I think he was too, we were able to hold the conversation and we continued into the evening with a drive around downtown. Originally we wanted to walk around Missions but I wasn’t able to handle the outdoors  since it was -24 out that night. As the night was about to end, he drove me to my car and asked to see me next week.

I kept cool and told him I would check my schedule. Inside I was thrilled of the idea  that he wanted to see me again. I knew I wasn’t busy …lol…however I didn’t want  him too see my true reaction of excitement  just in case I would come off to eager and desperate. I waited until the next day to accept his offer.

We planned the date for Sunday, the Sunday of the week of Halloween. This worked perfectly since we both already had plans with our friends for Halloween festivities that Friday and Saturday. We had the whole week prior to plan and chat, the week of waiting to see each other again allowed us to learn that we both  love Thai food, watching slasher movies and traveling.

We messaged each other constantly throughout the week, at work and after. I remember one night I was working late and I told him I didn’t have time to grab supper. It was 9 o’clock and I could hear my stomach growling….lol. I told him I was on my way home and he suggested that he could stop by to drop me off some food. He made some Moroccan stew and that he had lots left over and was willing to drop some off. I thought he was crazy for wanting to do this. This GESTURE was so sweet, so amazingly nice that I had doubts that he was being serious.

As I drove onto my street to park my car, there he was waiting in his car for me. He actually brought me dinner…WOW!!! He came in my house holding a container of stew and a ziplock bag of bread. He watched me eat as we caught up. He drove 20 minutes to deliver food to me and came in for another 20 minutes to see me. He didn’t try any moves or funny business, he was a gentlemen the whole time. He left as soon as I said I had an early morning, he told me he didn’t want to keep me up :). It was dinner with no strings attached 😉

After that gesture, I could feel that I liked him more than I ever wanted too. He was so caring. “Moroccan guy” really enjoyed cooking and clearly cooking Moroccan cuisine was his specialty. Overtime  I felt bad that he was making me supper weekly so I repaid him by making dessert. This became our thing, date night with a  delicious home cooked moroccan meal and my attempt of a dessert while watching “Narcos” on Netflix.

As the month passed, the holiday season was approaching. Since we weren’t at the stage where our relationship was serious enough meet family,  the holiday season meant that we would be spending a lot of December time apart. I was extremely busy in the month of December and so was he. Finding time meet up was getting really difficult.

January came and we finally had time to get together. We started to see each other regularly again which I really liked, however something felt different. He seemed distant and I started to feel that he wasn’t into me anymore. At this time I wasn’t sure what to think. I tried my best to keep my distance but still on his radar. I wasn’t sure if it was something I did.

I came over one day mid-week for supper and I asked him directly if there was something wrong. He replied by telling me that he hates work, hates being here and he was going through something personal. I tried to be as understanding as possible and told him that if he needed the distance from me then I would understand. He implied that the way he felt had nothing to do with me. I saw him couple more times after this conversation.

A week before Family day weekend in February, we planned to take a mini trip to the mountains to enjoy the long weekend. I was looking forward to this and I thought he did too. Two days before long weekend, he messaged me that he bought a ticket to Winnipeg for the long weekend. He said he wanted get away  from the city and wanted to do something alone. I was extremely upset and called him to confront him. He didn’t pick up but only texted me to tell me he would talk to me after his trip.

I WAS SO UPSET AND CRIED THE WHOLE NIGHT, NOT KNOWING WHAT HE WAS THINKING. I DISLIKED HIM SO MUCH THAT I WANTED TO HURT HIM.

I waited and waited for his message after the long weekend, so we could meet and talk. I NEVER received a call or message after the long weekend. I messaged him a few times after but he never responded.

I waited for two weeks afterwards and realized that I would never see him again. I messaged him to see if he could  return all my belongings. I had clothes, books and all the dessert/bake pans I brought over previously. Still he never answered my messages, I couldn’t believe how much of a coward her was, he didn’t have the guts to face me. His friend finally delivered all my belongings to me at work, a week after my initial request for my stuff.

I was heart-broken for a while after  because I never understood why him and I didn’t work. With all the dates and relationships in the past, I can look back and realize what went wrong.  I looked back at “Moroccan guy” and I COULDNT WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND THE REASONS WHY and this made me extremely emotional.

Three months after I’ve gotten over “Morocco guy”, I received a phone call from him. Since he was still programmed on my phone, the caller ID read his name. Seeing his name on my screen freaked me out and I ended the call immediately  so that it went straight to voicemail. I took a few minutes and thought about him and I concluded that I NEEDED to know why he called. Was it a wrong dial? ….did he accidentally call me or did he really wanted to talk to me? THERE WAS ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT! I called him back!

It was nice hearing his voice again, we greeted awkwardly and chit chatted about being awkward and then he told me the reason why he called me. He wanted to apologize to me about his actions and why he did what he did. The apology was sincere and the fact that he acknowledged that he knew he hurt me was courageous. He had no clue how I was going to respond but he opened up and was completely truthful. He kept on apologizing and hinted at the idea of us dating/being together again.

I took a few seconds to think about the idea of being with him again but deep down I didn’t want to be with him anymore.  It was nice hearing from him again, but I did what was right for me and responded with “thankyou for your apologies, and I’m truly happy that you’re doing better. I wish you the best and I hope everything works out for you”

As much as I want to be in a relationship, I know I want to be with someone who never let me go in the first place.

Linda

 

 

Meet the PARENTS

Meeting the parents is always a nerve wrecking moment. No matter who you are in the relationship, whether your meeting the boyfriends parents or your boyfriend is meeting your parents; the moments leading up to actual meeting and the meeting itself is a VERY BIG DEAL!

Meeting the parents is a big deal because it comes with a lot of opinions and possibly judgement. Parents will always have tons a questions and they are very observant in the relationship to spot out the flaws. Parents will always yearn to know if ‘this person’ is the best option for their daughter. No one wants to be the one who has the bad partner, no one wants their parents not to like their potential “one”, however meeting the parents is crucial.

I’ve always known how important meeting the parents is but in the past weeks Ive thought about the idea of “meeting the parents” more deeply and I’m begining to realize  that the situation is extremely important because it is a revelation point in a relationship, to see if the relationship is meant to continue or end.

I was invited over for dinner last Thursday at one of my close friend place in Chestemere. Over dinner is when his friend told me the story about how she recently broke up with the guy she’s been seeing for the past 6 months. I remember when I caught up with her a few months before, she told me how great her relationship was going. She was happy and I remember her smiling as she telling me about him. I didn’t know her well enough at that time  to truly know if she was acting or pretending but what I saw was a very excited woman who was experiencing the beginning stages of a wonderful relationship. Who would’ve imagined that it would end so soon.

She told us the story that the guy she’s was with was being very persistent in meeting her parents. As a bystander hearing this, hearing that any guy wanted to meet his girlfriend parents could only mean that he was thinking long-term. We would assume that the relationship was going well and quite serious if he was willing to be a situation where he would be put on the spot. In this case, as a girl we would assume he was commited.

After a few weeks of  her planning and arranging the best time for her parents and her siblings to come together to meet her boyfriend, she finally set a date. Her family and her boyfriend was going to come together on a Saturday night for a friendly game of  Locked Room.

Days leading up to it seem to be quite normal to her, she was excited that the meeting of her family and boyfriend was finally happening. She told me the night went well, everyone got along and the conversation was ongoing throughout the night. All the signs looked promising 🙂 She was thrilled with the entire exchange. Her family really like him and praised the many good things about her potential ‘one’.

The Monday after the family meeting, she and her boyfriend went to a neighborhood pub. She thought this was going to be normal date night but as they sat down, the drama began. Once they got there, they sat and ordered drinks and food. They started talking about the past Saturday and how the family meet and greet went. This was the beginning of the conversation that led to heart-break. They started discussing about the future and what he wanted and what she wanted. Clearly both parties didn’t align.

She asked tough questions and expected answers but all he could give her was excuses that she wasnt the one for him. He admitted that he felt this way for a while now and he was being selfish trying to balance this relationship with his own life.

This part is upsetting because if he didnt feel that this relationship wasnt going anywhere for him then why meet the parents? I think he was being selfish not realizing the potential consquences. He didnt value her in a relationship or valued the relationship she had with her family. He was fine with getting involved with her family dynamic as soon as possible but then reacted  just as quickly to back out of the relationship.

I couldnt imagine talking so highly about someone to my mom and dad and then finally allowing them to meet eachother and then breaking up shortly after….this would devastate me! WHAT TWISTED MAN WOULD WANT TO MEET A GIRLS PARENTS WITH THE INTENTIONS TO BREAK UP WITH HER AFTER???

my question for him-

were you always unsure and the parental meeting finalized your feelings? or did you already knew that you didn’t want to be with her but didnt have the guts to end it sooner? dude…whats your problem?

On Friday they were in happy relationship, on Saturday he met the parents and on Monday they broke up.

some things will never add up 😦

Linda

 

 

 

 

Does Harley need Joker?

Alrighty, it’s that time of year where we can dress up as ghosts, goblins and Beyoncé 😉 and everyone will be okay with it! Yep I’m talking about  Halloween weekend of 2017!!!! woot woot! Poor decisions and revealing clothing is a MUST this weekend lol!

Now Halloween isn’t just about that, for me-its a time I get to spend  with my little cousins carving pumpkins and watching  them get dressed up as cute pandas and The Iron Man to go trick or treating. Though I love spending Halloween with kids, I also day-dream about spending my Halloween time else where.

I always imagined  staying in on Halloween watching horror movies with a ‘LOVER’ (hehehe!) however I can’t even think of  a Halloween in which that has happened lol. It has always been pub crawls and house parties mixed with a little regret the next day lol! This year I’m planning to make Halloween as low-key as possible but for all the other single ladies out there…GO, GET OUT THERE! GO GET YOURS 😉

Last year was a disaster and I rather not repeat it again, so a year off Halloween should be good! Last year I bought tickets a month or so advance for this Halloween Party. Ticket prices were steep and I was hesitant but my best friend was able to convince me to get them. Thankfully my other best friend and her boyfriend agreed to go  as well. During this time I was deciding if I wanted to purchase one or  two. The second ticket was for this guy that I was seeing but in truth…deep down I wanted to get  rid of him. He sucked at being my boyfriend but I ended up buying two tickets anyways.

I love dressing up so I decided to go as Harley Quinn and I told him to go a Joker.  I spent a month ‘googling’ makeup and costume ideas and made co workers shop around the sketchiest neighborhoods in Calgary to find the right accessories for our costumes. This was probably the highlight of HALLOWEEN 2016….COSTUME MAKING 😉

The week of the Halloween party, I made sure he knew the itinerary of that Halloween night. I liked to be planned and organized so that no hiccups occurs during the festivities. I told him Monday, than Tuesday and  repeated the plan on Wednesday. I wanted to be clear with where he was supposed to meet me and what he should be wearing and bringing ect. He told me that I was nagging him and he got angry and told me to basically shut up. I was definitely angry at his behavior, but at that time fighting wasn’t worth it for me so I allowed his rude behaviour slide….reminder..he sucked!

On the day of the Halloween party, I planned to work in the daytime until 4pm then head over to my best friends place to get ready. I was getting really excited during the afternoon but something in me felt uneasy as if something was about  to go wrong. A few days before, I told my best friend that I thinking of ending it with ‘Joker’ after Halloween. After telling her, I watched for her reaction. Her face said it all, she didn’t say much but I knew she agreed that I should.

The reason why I didn’t  cut him off sooner is because of stupid, childish reasons;  1) I already invited him and bought him a ticket. 2) I spent time and money on our costumes therefore I didn’t want them to go to waste. 3) I didnt want to be alone

I look back and I would’ve ended it as soon as I had doubts, I should’ve stopped the relationship before I even bought the Halloween ticket in the first place.

Right after lunch on that Friday afternoon (4 hours before the time we were supposed to meet up), he calls me and tells me that he wont be able to go to this ticketed event due to a conflict with his work schedule. I WAS FURIOUS since he knew months in advance that we were going…SERIOUSLY WTF! I wanted to scream in the phone and tell him how much of a piece of crap he was but I didn’t. Instead I said alright, “its unfortunate you can’t come but I’m letting you know that THIS IS IT. I wont be seeing you anymore” I left it at that.

In the six months that we were dating,  I tried to stop seeing him, I tried twice before but somehow I always got drawn back in

Even though I was upset and disappointed after I decided to end it,  I was also relieved and happy that it was over. He wasnt the person I imagined myself to be with. When I was seeing him, I always felt that I was suppressing who I am to appease him and now, looking back I can say Im thrilled that I don’t have to do that anymore.

He called me throughout that Halloween night. He called 16 times, left 2 voice messages and 3 long text messages filled with his apologies. I chose not to answer, not to listen to voice mails and erased the long text messages from him.

That Halloween, I spent the night as a single lady. I was Harley without a Joker and I was ok 😉  I went as fifth wheel to my besties and thier men and to be honest I would’nt change a thing about that night. It was fun and I got to create another memory with the people that are the most important to me.

Happy Halloween 🙂

Have fun, stay safe 🙂

Linda

 

He’s high above me

After backpacking Asia for almost 9 months, the way you look at life, people and boys definitely change. After coming back to Calgary after some time away, I began to take attraction to boys I wasnt really fond of before. Hmmmmm what do you mean Linda? what type of men were you attracted to? Tall, dark and handsome? Short, predictable and geeky???

No, what I was into was care free, adventurous and little artsy.  To help you get a better visual image of what men I really mean, ten years ago I was attracted to grungy, earthy men who believed in living a minimalistic lifestyle (NO MATERIALISTIC GOODS LIKE SOAP), who wanted to spread the love (SLEPT WITH EVERYONE) and who wanted to live happily everyday (JOBLESS AND LOVE PLANTS…HMMM LOL LEAFY PLANTS) 😉

Now I have to remind you just in case you didn’t catch it before, who I am and what I want is completely different from myself ten years ago …yes COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

This dating story isn’t really eventful, however it was still very memorable. This all started when I started get close to a girl from work. We both worked at  a retail store and   to be honest, in the beginning I wasn’t sure if her and I would get along since we had different personalities and nothing in common. We didn’t have the same interests in music, fashion or even food. However we built a great relationship at work and we continued to hang with each other outside of work.  Soon we discovered that we loved exploring the city and of course talking about boys lol!

She asked me what type of boys I was attracted to and I told her. She was shocked with my answer,  but somehow she was able to come up with a potential boy that she knew that fitted my criteria. An artsy hippie with crazy dreads. She asked if I wanted to meet him and I of course said yes. She warned me that she only met him a few times before so she didnt know much about him. This boy was the brother of her close friend.

That Sunday afternoon, I picked her up and we drove to Local on 17th to meet up with her  close friend and his brother.  This wasn’t a date but a meeting to see if I would even go for this boy, all I wanted was a group setting at a casual place to see if this potential could possibly be dating material.

When we walked in, her close friend was already there and he apologized that his brother was going to be late. He said his brother was partying hard last night so he’s still hung over. As the three of us started chatting over beers, all I could think about is how great this boy was, he was talkative, easy-going and though he was no hippie with dreads, he was cute. Gosh, I wish my friend set me up with this boy instead lol!

After an hour and half past and we moved onto food, the artsy dreaded hippie finally came in and stumbled into the seat across from me. He was tall, dark-haired and he was wearing black  tinted  glasses. He introduced himself with a quick greet and nod.

From my seat, I could see him quite clearly, he was wearing a white tee-shirt with some graffiti graphic on it. His hair was hanging long past his shoulders, the dreads were dark brown and frizzy. His skin was pale against his dark hair and dark shades, which he decided not to take off the entire time he was there.

As we continued the conversation between the three of us, he just sat there silently. I felt that this was awkward so I tried to make small chit-chat with him. My whole purpose for that evening was to get to know this artsy dreaded hippie, to see if we would hit to off. I tried and tried but talking to him was a huge challenge since he wasn’t really responsive. He only replied with quick one worded answers. His hands were crossed the whole time and I began to feel that this night was going to end much faster than expected.

I continued finishing my beer and decided to try one more time to have a conversation with him. I started to talk and then saw that he was swaying back and forth in his seat….whats is he doing?, then “BAM” – his head slams on the table and he rises up, quickly focusing and realizing what just happened.

“im so high” thats what he said!!

This guy was HIGH out of his mind and fell asleep on me LOL!!! That’s my luck! The night ended and my friend and I parted ways from the boys. I laugh about this story to this day, I think im the only girl that can say that a boy fell asleep while talking to me!

TIP: if you plan to set up a friend with another friend, please notify them the he/she might be high 😉 lol

Linda

The wedding date

I’ve always said I want to break my patten…my dating pattern that is. I figured that I was dating the wrong men but it has been very difficult to define what is actually wrong with them. Maybe there is something wrong with me? All I know is that the previous guys I’ve dated wasn’t working and the common factor was me.

Over the summer, I tried to break that pattern by dating a guy that I normally wouldn’t go for. I tend to be drawn to the tall dark and handsome, guys with an ego, guys who were outspoken so basically “A” types. This time I decided to see someone who was still strong and a man but a man who is relaxed, down to earth and little simpler then the guys I’ve seen before.

Late June was when I started to chat with the “wedding date”. I was leisurely scrolling on online dating apps like most of us do on our downtime. I came across a blonde (so different from previous men….sooooo fricken different lol) and I swiped yes to him. Fortunately he liked my profile too!

The reason why I liked him from the beginning is the fact that he was so different from the other guys that I’ve messaged before. He was easy-going and very straight forward, we chatted for only a short period of time like a week with quick responses each day and then by the fifth day of messaging, he asked me if I would like to meet.

I deleted the actual message but this is what it sounded like:

“well Linda I think you seem like a great girl and it would be nice to meet you in person and get to know you a little more”

This was to the point but yet so clear, sweet and sincere. There was no mixed messages, no playing hard to get or vulgar (unwanted) sexual play but a guy that truly wanted to get to know me….awwww so sweet 😉

He picked a Sunday to meet, we met over drinks at a restaurant in Missions. It was hot that day because I remember how sweaty he was. I didn’t care  because he was cute and everything about him was so endearing. We ordered a pitcher of sangria and some guacamole to share. Both were delicious but the watermelon sangria was to die for 😉 As we continue onto the second glass of sangria; finishing the pitcher as if it was nothing. I noticed that I was quite nervous. Looking back, I think I was nervous because I felt that he and I weren’t equals. Though he wasn’t intimidating, I felt intimidated. I think the intimidation came from all his life experiences. His life was completely opposite from mine. My life seemed empty and adventure-LESS compared to his. How can we relate?

After we left the restaurant, we walked the neighborhood and stumbled across a community garden, yes we went in. He touched every plant and spoke about gardening as if it was his profession. We walked up and down and admired everyone’s individual garden while I listened about his own garden that he’s been working on. I knew he was into me when I caught him trying to touch, graze and hold my hand. The fact that he wasnt sly about it made me like him more. He wasn’t as smooth or charming as the other guys I’ve dated but I felt that every compliment, every gesture he did was truly meant for me 🙂

Since he was busy and I was busy for most of summer, it was hard to coordinate a time to meet up again. Though I didnt see him as much as I wouldve liked to, I knew I liked him enough to want to spend a whole evening with him. That’s when I made the hard decision. Should I invite him to a wedding or not? I decided I wanted him to be my date at my best friends wedding.

The one thing that not all my friends know is that it took me a long time and a huge emotional struggle to find courage to even approach “wedding date” to be my wedding date. By this time, I only seen him three times in the course of a month and half.

I’m pretty sure there are people reading this that think im CRAZY for wanting him to be my date after the third meeting. I agree, I think its CRAZY too, however at that moment in time I believe I wanted a plus one so bad that the idea took over my logic completely. At that moment, me being crazy wasnt my fear. My fear was rejection. The only thing that crossed my mind was what if I asked and he said no? then what? If I asked, could I be ruining the beginning of a great possibility? Or could this grand gesture of me asking him to be my wedding date then becoming a blossoming relationship?

Well you know what I did lol! I asked and he said yes. I don’t regret asking him but looking back, im pretty sure I should have asked my friend Chris 🙂

When I finally asked him, he was thrilled. I wanted to ask him in person but we kept changing dates on each other so there was never a time where I could. The wedding was also in two weeks so I was cutting it close. My best friend was being so patient with me, she needed to know if there should be an extra seat beside me or not.  (Thankyou for waiting for my response)

I finally messaged “wedding date”. I wanted the message to come off very breezy so there was no pressure on him to say yes. As a girl we ponder on things, we over think things and naturally we try to disappoint ourselves first so that when others disappoint, it will hurt less. However hurt is hurt and no matter what; pain, rejection and disappointment sucks the same way. I waited and waited for his response and finally he messaged back. He was thrilled about the idea and I was thrilled that he was thrilled.

My best friend is chinese so her wedding was two parter, a chinese reception dinner for close friends and family the first night and a set planned meal placed at pretty venue with the rest of the guests on the second night. I originally invited the “wedding date” to the first night, the chinese reception dinner. As we started talking, I invited him to the second night as well. The reason why I didn’t initially invite him to both nights is because I didn’t want him to feel overwhelmed with spending two days with me back to back. The second night would also be a night where I would be busy helping the bride and bridal party.  I knew he would be spending majority of the second night alone with strangers so  I didnt want him to feel left alone. However he still wanted to attend both.

The whole wedding was huge commitment and I asked if he was sure he wanted to go through with it and he kept saying yes. I remember he said “if you want me to be there then I will be there for you”.

On the chinese dinner reception day, I told him we would be car pooling with my best friend Ali and her boyfriend. He was ok with it and when I got to the restaurant, I was a little nervous allowing him to meet my other best friend aka bride and the groom. The intro was nice and short. As we sat down at the table and began to eat, he thanked me over and over again for inviting him.  We drank wine and stuffed ourselves full. I felt that the atmosphere was great, the night was filled with conversation and lots of laughs.

We left early around ten oclock knowing that everyone had to wake up early to get pampered for the wedding day. The night ended and as I was leaving, I made arrangements to pick up the rest of the girls  to head to the northwest together the next morning.

In the morning, the “wedding date” drove and dropped all the girls and I off in the northwest. The “wedding date” and I spoke earlier about joining me at the wedding venue later that day so I told hi to take my car. Its funny because I didn’t know that the conversation I had with him in my car that morning would be the last conversation I had with him ever.

As the girls were getting ready, I checked my phone and he messaged me few hours later saying that he wasnt feeling well and he will not be attending the wedding. He apologized and implied that he would pick me up after the wedding was over. I knew the wedding was going to end quite late so I told him, he didnt have to pick me up. I told him he could drop my car off the next morning at my place and that he should rest for the rest of the night.

I was sad and disappointed he couldn’t make it to the second day but if he wasnt feeling well then I undestood that it was best for him to stay home. Throughout the night I looked at my phone for updates on how he was doing but there was no messages from him. I jumped to the conclusion that he was sleeping his sickness off and he was too sick to answer. Of course these are all my excuses for him to make myself feel better.

As the night ended, Ali agreed to drive me home. As we were driving out of the venue, I remember that my house keys were on the same key chain as my car keys. I couldn’t go home lol. I needed to see “wedding date” in order for me to sleep in my own bed that night. As Ali was driving, I called him a few times but no answer, I told Ali to drive to his place and I would ring his doorbell.

I was two minutes away from his place when I read a phone message from him. In the message, he told me that he placed my keys in the mailbox in the front of the house. THATS IT, THATS WHAT THE MESSAGE SAID. When I got to his front door, all the lights were off and I didn’t want to disturb him or his roommates, so I reached in the mail box and grabbed my keys. I sent him a message telling him I got them in hopes he would read the message in time to come and greet me at the door. He didn’t come.

I drove home that night with my car and my house keys in hand but feeling a little uneasy. I knew that was the last time I would ever get any messages from him again. Even though I felt like I knew that he wasnt interested in me anymore, I still messaged him that Sunday morning to check up to see if he was feeling better. I got no response. I was also hoping that he still liked me.

Two weeks passed and no messages from “wedding date” so yah, he’s not into me lol.  Two weeks after the wedding, I was walking downtown when I saw him with a girl who I can only assume was a new date. Seeing him out with another girl did make me a little hurt knowing that I wasnt the one he wanted. I never cried over it and I don’t think I will because deep down I know we wouldnt have worked out.

Sometimes I wonder what happened that chinese reception dinner that made him change his mind, was it me?, was it my friends? Did I push too hard, Did my friends push him too hard?, was he overwhelmed? Did he see a side of me he didn’t like?….WHO KNOWS…TBH…WHO CARES LOL!!!

Thanks for being my plus one, well more like a plus point five…get it? he showed up for only half of the time hehehe!

laugh, love, date and laugh some more 😉

Linda

Live. Laugh. Give thanks!

Today is Thanksgiving and after a very chaotic and busy weekend spent with my family and friends, I have a moment to sit down and understand how truly lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. I am truly lucky that I get to share memories, stories and experiences with you guys 🙂 For reals!

For all the people who have listened over and over again to the same stories about my love life/dating life, I commend you that you haven’t killed me yet. All of you have had the chance to tell me to “shut up” and  “enough already, get over it” but you guys don’t. Instead you continue to sit there and listen to the countless depressing stories I have to tell and encourage me to continuing this crazy journey in dating…. whoooaaa!

To the people who have been unlucky enough to experience Linda’s  face-to-face, true raw emotional dating rollercoaster,  I am sorry….kinda???!!!… lol, but I hope you guys fund humor in the stories I tell. To the ones that only get to read them, well I hope the stories translate to humor because believe me, I  look back and I LAUGH, ….LIKE REAL LOUD!

I’m thankful for all the special people in my life and if you’re wondering if you are a “special person” then you are definitely are! 🙂

Laugh. Love, Linda 🙂