Meet the PARENTS

Meeting the parents is always a nerve wrecking moment. No matter who you are in the relationship, whether your meeting the boyfriends parents or your boyfriend is meeting your parents; the moments leading up to actual meeting and the meeting itself is a VERY BIG DEAL!

Meeting the parents is a big deal because it comes with a lot of opinions and possibly judgement. Parents will always have tons a questions and they are very observant in the relationship to spot out the flaws. Parents will always yearn to know if ‘this person’ is the best option for their daughter. No one wants to be the one who has the bad partner, no one wants their parents not to like their potential “one”, however meeting the parents is crucial.

I’ve always known how important meeting the parents is but in the past weeks Ive thought about the idea of “meeting the parents” more deeply and I’m begining to realize  that the situation is extremely important because it is a revelation point in a relationship, to see if the relationship is meant to continue or end.

I was invited over for dinner last Thursday at one of my close friend place in Chestemere. Over dinner is when his friend told me the story about how she recently broke up with the guy she’s been seeing for the past 6 months. I remember when I caught up with her a few months before, she told me how great her relationship was going. She was happy and I remember her smiling as she telling me about him. I didn’t know her well enough at that time  to truly know if she was acting or pretending but what I saw was a very excited woman who was experiencing the beginning stages of a wonderful relationship. Who would’ve imagined that it would end so soon.

She told us the story that the guy she’s was with was being very persistent in meeting her parents. As a bystander hearing this, hearing that any guy wanted to meet his girlfriend parents could only mean that he was thinking long-term. We would assume that the relationship was going well and quite serious if he was willing to be a situation where he would be put on the spot. In this case, as a girl we would assume he was commited.

After a few weeks of  her planning and arranging the best time for her parents and her siblings to come together to meet her boyfriend, she finally set a date. Her family and her boyfriend was going to come together on a Saturday night for a friendly game of  Locked Room.

Days leading up to it seem to be quite normal to her, she was excited that the meeting of her family and boyfriend was finally happening. She told me the night went well, everyone got along and the conversation was ongoing throughout the night. All the signs looked promising 🙂 She was thrilled with the entire exchange. Her family really like him and praised the many good things about her potential ‘one’.

The Monday after the family meeting, she and her boyfriend went to a neighborhood pub. She thought this was going to be normal date night but as they sat down, the drama began. Once they got there, they sat and ordered drinks and food. They started talking about the past Saturday and how the family meet and greet went. This was the beginning of the conversation that led to heart-break. They started discussing about the future and what he wanted and what she wanted. Clearly both parties didn’t align.

She asked tough questions and expected answers but all he could give her was excuses that she wasnt the one for him. He admitted that he felt this way for a while now and he was being selfish trying to balance this relationship with his own life.

This part is upsetting because if he didnt feel that this relationship wasnt going anywhere for him then why meet the parents? I think he was being selfish not realizing the potential consquences. He didnt value her in a relationship or valued the relationship she had with her family. He was fine with getting involved with her family dynamic as soon as possible but then reacted  just as quickly to back out of the relationship.

I couldnt imagine talking so highly about someone to my mom and dad and then finally allowing them to meet eachother and then breaking up shortly after….this would devastate me! WHAT TWISTED MAN WOULD WANT TO MEET A GIRLS PARENTS WITH THE INTENTIONS TO BREAK UP WITH HER AFTER???

my question for him-

were you always unsure and the parental meeting finalized your feelings? or did you already knew that you didn’t want to be with her but didnt have the guts to end it sooner? dude…whats your problem?

On Friday they were in happy relationship, on Saturday he met the parents and on Monday they broke up.

some things will never add up 😦

Linda

 

 

 

 

Does Harley need Joker?

Alrighty, it’s that time of year where we can dress up as ghosts, goblins and Beyoncé 😉 and everyone will be okay with it! Yep I’m talking about  Halloween weekend of 2017!!!! woot woot! Poor decisions and revealing clothing is a MUST this weekend lol!

Now Halloween isn’t just about that, for me-its a time I get to spend  with my little cousins carving pumpkins and watching  them get dressed up as cute pandas and The Iron Man to go trick or treating. Though I love spending Halloween with kids, I also day-dream about spending my Halloween time else where.

I always imagined  staying in on Halloween watching horror movies with a ‘LOVER’ (hehehe!) however I can’t even think of  a Halloween in which that has happened lol. It has always been pub crawls and house parties mixed with a little regret the next day lol! This year I’m planning to make Halloween as low-key as possible but for all the other single ladies out there…GO, GET OUT THERE! GO GET YOURS 😉

Last year was a disaster and I rather not repeat it again, so a year off Halloween should be good! Last year I bought tickets a month or so advance for this Halloween Party. Ticket prices were steep and I was hesitant but my best friend was able to convince me to get them. Thankfully my other best friend and her boyfriend agreed to go  as well. During this time I was deciding if I wanted to purchase one or  two. The second ticket was for this guy that I was seeing but in truth…deep down I wanted to get  rid of him. He sucked at being my boyfriend but I ended up buying two tickets anyways.

I love dressing up so I decided to go as Harley Quinn and I told him to go a Joker.  I spent a month ‘googling’ makeup and costume ideas and made co workers shop around the sketchiest neighborhoods in Calgary to find the right accessories for our costumes. This was probably the highlight of HALLOWEEN 2016….COSTUME MAKING 😉

The week of the Halloween party, I made sure he knew the itinerary of that Halloween night. I liked to be planned and organized so that no hiccups occurs during the festivities. I told him Monday, than Tuesday and  repeated the plan on Wednesday. I wanted to be clear with where he was supposed to meet me and what he should be wearing and bringing ect. He told me that I was nagging him and he got angry and told me to basically shut up. I was definitely angry at his behavior, but at that time fighting wasn’t worth it for me so I allowed his rude behaviour slide….reminder..he sucked!

On the day of the Halloween party, I planned to work in the daytime until 4pm then head over to my best friends place to get ready. I was getting really excited during the afternoon but something in me felt uneasy as if something was about  to go wrong. A few days before, I told my best friend that I thinking of ending it with ‘Joker’ after Halloween. After telling her, I watched for her reaction. Her face said it all, she didn’t say much but I knew she agreed that I should.

The reason why I didn’t  cut him off sooner is because of stupid, childish reasons;  1) I already invited him and bought him a ticket. 2) I spent time and money on our costumes therefore I didn’t want them to go to waste. 3) I didnt want to be alone

I look back and I would’ve ended it as soon as I had doubts, I should’ve stopped the relationship before I even bought the Halloween ticket in the first place.

Right after lunch on that Friday afternoon (4 hours before the time we were supposed to meet up), he calls me and tells me that he wont be able to go to this ticketed event due to a conflict with his work schedule. I WAS FURIOUS since he knew months in advance that we were going…SERIOUSLY WTF! I wanted to scream in the phone and tell him how much of a piece of crap he was but I didn’t. Instead I said alright, “its unfortunate you can’t come but I’m letting you know that THIS IS IT. I wont be seeing you anymore” I left it at that.

In the six months that we were dating,  I tried to stop seeing him, I tried twice before but somehow I always got drawn back in

Even though I was upset and disappointed after I decided to end it,  I was also relieved and happy that it was over. He wasnt the person I imagined myself to be with. When I was seeing him, I always felt that I was suppressing who I am to appease him and now, looking back I can say Im thrilled that I don’t have to do that anymore.

He called me throughout that Halloween night. He called 16 times, left 2 voice messages and 3 long text messages filled with his apologies. I chose not to answer, not to listen to voice mails and erased the long text messages from him.

That Halloween, I spent the night as a single lady. I was Harley without a Joker and I was ok 😉  I went as fifth wheel to my besties and thier men and to be honest I would’nt change a thing about that night. It was fun and I got to create another memory with the people that are the most important to me.

Happy Halloween 🙂

Have fun, stay safe 🙂

Linda

 

He’s high above me

After backpacking Asia for almost 9 months, the way you look at life, people and boys definitely change. After coming back to Calgary after some time away, I began to take attraction to boys I wasnt really fond of before. Hmmmmm what do you mean Linda? what type of men were you attracted to? Tall, dark and handsome? Short, predictable and geeky???

No, what I was into was care free, adventurous and little artsy.  To help you get a better visual image of what men I really mean, ten years ago I was attracted to grungy, earthy men who believed in living a minimalistic lifestyle (NO MATERIALISTIC GOODS LIKE SOAP), who wanted to spread the love (SLEPT WITH EVERYONE) and who wanted to live happily everyday (JOBLESS AND LOVE PLANTS…HMMM LOL LEAFY PLANTS) 😉

Now I have to remind you just in case you didn’t catch it before, who I am and what I want is completely different from myself ten years ago …yes COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

This dating story isn’t really eventful, however it was still very memorable. This all started when I started get close to a girl from work. We both worked at  a retail store and   to be honest, in the beginning I wasn’t sure if her and I would get along since we had different personalities and nothing in common. We didn’t have the same interests in music, fashion or even food. However we built a great relationship at work and we continued to hang with each other outside of work.  Soon we discovered that we loved exploring the city and of course talking about boys lol!

She asked me what type of boys I was attracted to and I told her. She was shocked with my answer,  but somehow she was able to come up with a potential boy that she knew that fitted my criteria. An artsy hippie with crazy dreads. She asked if I wanted to meet him and I of course said yes. She warned me that she only met him a few times before so she didnt know much about him. This boy was the brother of her close friend.

That Sunday afternoon, I picked her up and we drove to Local on 17th to meet up with her  close friend and his brother.  This wasn’t a date but a meeting to see if I would even go for this boy, all I wanted was a group setting at a casual place to see if this potential could possibly be dating material.

When we walked in, her close friend was already there and he apologized that his brother was going to be late. He said his brother was partying hard last night so he’s still hung over. As the three of us started chatting over beers, all I could think about is how great this boy was, he was talkative, easy-going and though he was no hippie with dreads, he was cute. Gosh, I wish my friend set me up with this boy instead lol!

After an hour and half past and we moved onto food, the artsy dreaded hippie finally came in and stumbled into the seat across from me. He was tall, dark-haired and he was wearing black  tinted  glasses. He introduced himself with a quick greet and nod.

From my seat, I could see him quite clearly, he was wearing a white tee-shirt with some graffiti graphic on it. His hair was hanging long past his shoulders, the dreads were dark brown and frizzy. His skin was pale against his dark hair and dark shades, which he decided not to take off the entire time he was there.

As we continued the conversation between the three of us, he just sat there silently. I felt that this was awkward so I tried to make small chit-chat with him. My whole purpose for that evening was to get to know this artsy dreaded hippie, to see if we would hit to off. I tried and tried but talking to him was a huge challenge since he wasn’t really responsive. He only replied with quick one worded answers. His hands were crossed the whole time and I began to feel that this night was going to end much faster than expected.

I continued finishing my beer and decided to try one more time to have a conversation with him. I started to talk and then saw that he was swaying back and forth in his seat….whats is he doing?, then “BAM” – his head slams on the table and he rises up, quickly focusing and realizing what just happened.

“im so high” thats what he said!!

This guy was HIGH out of his mind and fell asleep on me LOL!!! That’s my luck! The night ended and my friend and I parted ways from the boys. I laugh about this story to this day, I think im the only girl that can say that a boy fell asleep while talking to me!

TIP: if you plan to set up a friend with another friend, please notify them the he/she might be high 😉 lol

Linda

The wedding date

I’ve always said I want to break my patten…my dating pattern that is. I figured that I was dating the wrong men but it has been very difficult to define what is actually wrong with them. Maybe there is something wrong with me? All I know is that the previous guys I’ve dated wasn’t working and the common factor was me.

Over the summer, I tried to break that pattern by dating a guy that I normally wouldn’t go for. I tend to be drawn to the tall dark and handsome, guys with an ego, guys who were outspoken so basically “A” types. This time I decided to see someone who was still strong and a man but a man who is relaxed, down to earth and little simpler then the guys I’ve seen before.

Late June was when I started to chat with the “wedding date”. I was leisurely scrolling on online dating apps like most of us do on our downtime. I came across a blonde (so different from previous men….sooooo fricken different lol) and I swiped yes to him. Fortunately he liked my profile too!

The reason why I liked him from the beginning is the fact that he was so different from the other guys that I’ve messaged before. He was easy-going and very straight forward, we chatted for only a short period of time like a week with quick responses each day and then by the fifth day of messaging, he asked me if I would like to meet.

I deleted the actual message but this is what it sounded like:

“well Linda I think you seem like a great girl and it would be nice to meet you in person and get to know you a little more”

This was to the point but yet so clear, sweet and sincere. There was no mixed messages, no playing hard to get or vulgar (unwanted) sexual play but a guy that truly wanted to get to know me….awwww so sweet 😉

He picked a Sunday to meet, we met over drinks at a restaurant in Missions. It was hot that day because I remember how sweaty he was. I didn’t care  because he was cute and everything about him was so endearing. We ordered a pitcher of sangria and some guacamole to share. Both were delicious but the watermelon sangria was to die for 😉 As we continue onto the second glass of sangria; finishing the pitcher as if it was nothing. I noticed that I was quite nervous. Looking back, I think I was nervous because I felt that he and I weren’t equals. Though he wasn’t intimidating, I felt intimidated. I think the intimidation came from all his life experiences. His life was completely opposite from mine. My life seemed empty and adventure-LESS compared to his. How can we relate?

After we left the restaurant, we walked the neighborhood and stumbled across a community garden, yes we went in. He touched every plant and spoke about gardening as if it was his profession. We walked up and down and admired everyone’s individual garden while I listened about his own garden that he’s been working on. I knew he was into me when I caught him trying to touch, graze and hold my hand. The fact that he wasnt sly about it made me like him more. He wasn’t as smooth or charming as the other guys I’ve dated but I felt that every compliment, every gesture he did was truly meant for me 🙂

Since he was busy and I was busy for most of summer, it was hard to coordinate a time to meet up again. Though I didnt see him as much as I wouldve liked to, I knew I liked him enough to want to spend a whole evening with him. That’s when I made the hard decision. Should I invite him to a wedding or not? I decided I wanted him to be my date at my best friends wedding.

The one thing that not all my friends know is that it took me a long time and a huge emotional struggle to find courage to even approach “wedding date” to be my wedding date. By this time, I only seen him three times in the course of a month and half.

I’m pretty sure there are people reading this that think im CRAZY for wanting him to be my date after the third meeting. I agree, I think its CRAZY too, however at that moment in time I believe I wanted a plus one so bad that the idea took over my logic completely. At that moment, me being crazy wasnt my fear. My fear was rejection. The only thing that crossed my mind was what if I asked and he said no? then what? If I asked, could I be ruining the beginning of a great possibility? Or could this grand gesture of me asking him to be my wedding date then becoming a blossoming relationship?

Well you know what I did lol! I asked and he said yes. I don’t regret asking him but looking back, im pretty sure I should have asked my friend Chris 🙂

When I finally asked him, he was thrilled. I wanted to ask him in person but we kept changing dates on each other so there was never a time where I could. The wedding was also in two weeks so I was cutting it close. My best friend was being so patient with me, she needed to know if there should be an extra seat beside me or not.  (Thankyou for waiting for my response)

I finally messaged “wedding date”. I wanted the message to come off very breezy so there was no pressure on him to say yes. As a girl we ponder on things, we over think things and naturally we try to disappoint ourselves first so that when others disappoint, it will hurt less. However hurt is hurt and no matter what; pain, rejection and disappointment sucks the same way. I waited and waited for his response and finally he messaged back. He was thrilled about the idea and I was thrilled that he was thrilled.

My best friend is chinese so her wedding was two parter, a chinese reception dinner for close friends and family the first night and a set planned meal placed at pretty venue with the rest of the guests on the second night. I originally invited the “wedding date” to the first night, the chinese reception dinner. As we started talking, I invited him to the second night as well. The reason why I didn’t initially invite him to both nights is because I didn’t want him to feel overwhelmed with spending two days with me back to back. The second night would also be a night where I would be busy helping the bride and bridal party.  I knew he would be spending majority of the second night alone with strangers so  I didnt want him to feel left alone. However he still wanted to attend both.

The whole wedding was huge commitment and I asked if he was sure he wanted to go through with it and he kept saying yes. I remember he said “if you want me to be there then I will be there for you”.

On the chinese dinner reception day, I told him we would be car pooling with my best friend Ali and her boyfriend. He was ok with it and when I got to the restaurant, I was a little nervous allowing him to meet my other best friend aka bride and the groom. The intro was nice and short. As we sat down at the table and began to eat, he thanked me over and over again for inviting him.  We drank wine and stuffed ourselves full. I felt that the atmosphere was great, the night was filled with conversation and lots of laughs.

We left early around ten oclock knowing that everyone had to wake up early to get pampered for the wedding day. The night ended and as I was leaving, I made arrangements to pick up the rest of the girls  to head to the northwest together the next morning.

In the morning, the “wedding date” drove and dropped all the girls and I off in the northwest. The “wedding date” and I spoke earlier about joining me at the wedding venue later that day so I told hi to take my car. Its funny because I didn’t know that the conversation I had with him in my car that morning would be the last conversation I had with him ever.

As the girls were getting ready, I checked my phone and he messaged me few hours later saying that he wasnt feeling well and he will not be attending the wedding. He apologized and implied that he would pick me up after the wedding was over. I knew the wedding was going to end quite late so I told him, he didnt have to pick me up. I told him he could drop my car off the next morning at my place and that he should rest for the rest of the night.

I was sad and disappointed he couldn’t make it to the second day but if he wasnt feeling well then I undestood that it was best for him to stay home. Throughout the night I looked at my phone for updates on how he was doing but there was no messages from him. I jumped to the conclusion that he was sleeping his sickness off and he was too sick to answer. Of course these are all my excuses for him to make myself feel better.

As the night ended, Ali agreed to drive me home. As we were driving out of the venue, I remember that my house keys were on the same key chain as my car keys. I couldn’t go home lol. I needed to see “wedding date” in order for me to sleep in my own bed that night. As Ali was driving, I called him a few times but no answer, I told Ali to drive to his place and I would ring his doorbell.

I was two minutes away from his place when I read a phone message from him. In the message, he told me that he placed my keys in the mailbox in the front of the house. THATS IT, THATS WHAT THE MESSAGE SAID. When I got to his front door, all the lights were off and I didn’t want to disturb him or his roommates, so I reached in the mail box and grabbed my keys. I sent him a message telling him I got them in hopes he would read the message in time to come and greet me at the door. He didn’t come.

I drove home that night with my car and my house keys in hand but feeling a little uneasy. I knew that was the last time I would ever get any messages from him again. Even though I felt like I knew that he wasnt interested in me anymore, I still messaged him that Sunday morning to check up to see if he was feeling better. I got no response. I was also hoping that he still liked me.

Two weeks passed and no messages from “wedding date” so yah, he’s not into me lol.  Two weeks after the wedding, I was walking downtown when I saw him with a girl who I can only assume was a new date. Seeing him out with another girl did make me a little hurt knowing that I wasnt the one he wanted. I never cried over it and I don’t think I will because deep down I know we wouldnt have worked out.

Sometimes I wonder what happened that chinese reception dinner that made him change his mind, was it me?, was it my friends? Did I push too hard, Did my friends push him too hard?, was he overwhelmed? Did he see a side of me he didn’t like?….WHO KNOWS…TBH…WHO CARES LOL!!!

Thanks for being my plus one, well more like a plus point five…get it? he showed up for only half of the time hehehe!

laugh, love, date and laugh some more 😉

Linda

Live. Laugh. Give thanks!

Today is Thanksgiving and after a very chaotic and busy weekend spent with my family and friends, I have a moment to sit down and understand how truly lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. I am truly lucky that I get to share memories, stories and experiences with you guys 🙂 For reals!

For all the people who have listened over and over again to the same stories about my love life/dating life, I commend you that you haven’t killed me yet. All of you have had the chance to tell me to “shut up” and  “enough already, get over it” but you guys don’t. Instead you continue to sit there and listen to the countless depressing stories I have to tell and encourage me to continuing this crazy journey in dating…. whoooaaa!

To the people who have been unlucky enough to experience Linda’s  face-to-face, true raw emotional dating rollercoaster,  I am sorry….kinda???!!!… lol, but I hope you guys fund humor in the stories I tell. To the ones that only get to read them, well I hope the stories translate to humor because believe me, I  look back and I LAUGH, ….LIKE REAL LOUD!

I’m thankful for all the special people in my life and if you’re wondering if you are a “special person” then you are definitely are! 🙂

Laugh. Love, Linda 🙂

Long Live the first

Here is a little more information about me….maybe a little too much information hehehe. I started online dating only three years ago and its crazy too say that in the past three years, it has been a whirlwind of dates. I have been lucky enough and unlucky enough in having the chance  to get to know the many different men that have walked in and OUT of my life.

Social media has been a gateway for me to meet people and it still is. I remember when online dating was a taboo and it was embarrassing to  admit that I was meeting people online and now its become this norm. Right now I don’t know any single women or men that have not or is currently  using some sort of social media to obtain dates. When I first started , it was intimating and scary. I wasn’t quite sure how to go about the idea of dating online?

I understand why online dating is at its peak right now, its easy and at a click aka the swipe of the screen we could be on a date in just a few hours. Now I know what your thinking….swiping for a date Linda??? or swiping for a booty call??? lol!!! Anyone and everyone who knows me, knows I’m old school and I need food first 😉

Three years ago, I found a boy online that I felt I could talk too. Since he was my first boy that I chatted with, I wasn’t quite sure how to flirt or communicate through text, the first few conversations I had with him were very dull and direct….

This is example of how some of the first conversations went:

HIM- ” hey gorgeous, how are you”

ME- “Good”

ME- “how are you”

ME- “you are attractive to btw”

HIM- “what are you up to this Friday? I’m surprised a girl like you isn’t out ;)”

ME- “I’m tired, going to sleep early”

HIM -“OOOhhh bed early hey?”

ME- “yep early”

HIM- “lol ok hahaha”

Seriously Linda, this is you being flirty?? I’m shocked that he continued to message me.

It took me a few messages but I finally understood the art of ‘message flirting’ not ‘sexting’ but flirting lol! Believe me I didn’t  conquer this with the first man I encountered through the web but learned the hard way after noticing the pattern of men who STOPPED MESSAGING ME AFTER  6 BUBBLES …..lol

*what is a bubble…? A bubble to me is speech balloon, I call them bubbles lol! this would be a classic online conversation I had with men…..nothing more then 6 bubbles hahaha!

bubble1-Boy: hey Linda, how are you?

bubble2-Linda: I’m doing pretty good, how are you?

bubble3-Boy: thats nice to hear, what did you do today?

bubble4-Boy: just about to head out to catch the ballgame, you play any sports?

bubble5– Linda: I just worked and now I’m home

bubble6-Linda: no I do not.

WOW…LINDA SOUNDS SO INVITING AND WARM….LOL,

The realization that I was MESSAGING ALL WRONG didn’t come easy!  Having a conversation with a stranger is hard enough but to actually attract another human in an engaging conversation is even more difficult. There is the need of balance in a conversation, you have to make sure you are revealing some but not too much, messaging messages to show your interested without coming off as too eager or too easy. Believe me this did take me a lot of trying and failing to figure the best way to communicate flirting.

This boy, the first boy continued with my boring/dull chats for about two weeks until he finally asked to meet up. I remember how nervous I was, just thinking about him gave me butterflies. He worked as a finance guy at a bank and he volunteered on the weekends to teach Kids martial arts. He was a professional fighter in jiu-jitsu which I especially loved! He was smart, sweet and responsible, all qualities that I really looked for in a guy.

We met in McKenzie Town at the pub besides Davids tea (I don’t remember the pub name…my bad!) We met during the week and I was so nervous, my palms were sweaty and I called my friend beforehand just so I can ease my nerves. I walked into the pub and stood at the entrance until the hostess asked me if she could help. I didn’t want to tell her why I was there or who I was meeting so I told her its ok, my friend was waiting for me inside and I can find him on my own. He wasn’t my friend or acquaintance; he was stranger but do I tell the hostess that?

“Sorry hostess, I need you to help me find this potential stranger that may or may not look like his profile pic. I don’t know what I’m looking for but I think he may be tall, big build and handsome with a great personality…maybe? can you lead me to that please? wtf?”

I called him and he said he was inside right by the windows. I glanced around the pub and noticed him right away. He smiled and I walked towards him. He got off his seat and stood and greeted me and then hugged me. That was really sweet 😉

I was nervous throughout the whole date,  I tried to hide it from him but the fact that I was trying so hard to be cool, only made me more nervous thinking about how to act. What people don’t know is that when I get extremely nervous, my upper lip twitches…so embarrassing, however I think I contained it well since he didn’t say anything lol. (I think my twitch isn’t noticeable since none of my friends or family have ever said anything to me….or its because they keep it to themselves so they won’t hurt my feelings?? who knows lol)

After I left the pub, my girlfriend called me and asked me how it was. I told her exactly what happened and how nervous I was. I was so happy that I got through it. She asked me if I was planning to see him again and to be honest I wasn’t sure, though he was nice and easy to talk to, I didn’t feel anything for him. I didn’t feel a romantic connection and I wasn’t attracted to him as much as I was to his online profile.

He messaged me after the pub and said it was nice meeting me and he would like to see me again. After some thought, I realize I didn’t have anything to lose and I needed more time together to get to know him.

I continued onto a second date with him a week after. We met on a Saturday night and we had dinner at Cleaver on 17th. During this time, Cleaver was a new restaurant that just opened. We both spoke about how we wanted to try this new restaurant during our first meeting,  so we decided Cleaver would be the perfect location to meet on the second date.

Dinner went well, the food was great and the conversation was great. Throughout dinner we had three drinks each so the great date was turning to be an amazing date as the night progressed 😉 I am not picky when it comes to food, I love trying new things and to be honest all food is yummy to me 😉 Because I am easy when it comes to food, he ordered. He ordered a few dishes that were tapas style to share and then a few deserts to share at the end.  I loved all of it  and I think, we were both amazed at the food and enjoyed every aspect of the restaurant.

As we finished the last drinks, I definitely felt the alcohol kick in, I leaned forward with both elbows on the table just so I can be closer to him. I remember laughing louder than normal. I was feeling amazing and for a moment , I was truly happy to be there with him.

The bill came to the table and there was an awkward moment of who was going to get the bill. I caught him looking at it but no hand reached for it so I finally did. OK, now here is the dilemma and the great debate….im a little old school and I believe in equality and sharing, however when it comes to ‘wooing’ me, I do feel that a man should pick up the first bill. When I grabbed it, he didn’t say anything to stop me. So you know where I’m going  with this lol……he ordered, he asked me out and now I’m paying lol!!! whaaattt??? We didn’t even “go dutch”. I laid my cash on the table and he grabbed the bill and my cash and brought it to the waiter…..wait…did he do this to make it look like he paid? whaattt? seriously? Am I crazy for thinking this lol!

He thanked me for dinner and walked me to my car, he leaned in for a kiss but after  his action of not picking up the bill-I was so NOT impressed and a kiss was definitely off the menu for the night.

I got over this quite quickly and I decided to forget that I paid and he didn’t. I began telling myself that I was  stupid  for wanting him to pick up the bill. I decided to continuing chatting with him and see where this was going to go. He apparently didn’t feel the same.

After a free meal from me and a few short messages after, this boy faded off and never messaged me again…womp womp….

yep that was the first online date I went on hehehe 😦

 

 

 

 

 

Bad Boys for Life

It’s really strange how most girls want a bad boy, what is the appeal of this….the bad ass personality, the possibility of being dominated, is it a status that we feel when we found someone who tends to bend the rules? I’ve always asked myself  ‘why am I attracted to bad boys?’ Maybe it stems from possibly father issues, maybe because of social media or is it because all girls want a ‘bad boy’ so therefore I do too lol :(. So its more a competitive thing hmmmmm lol???

I met Leo  (not real name) on a Thursday evening at a coffee shop downtown, I arrived there first and I was nervous as usual. I don’t know if others feel the same way I do on the first meeting, but its a mix emotions of feeling nervousness but still excited, feelings of being scared of the possibility of being stood up but still hopeful that the guy will be great. I try to be optimistic for every date I go on but I also know the feeling of being disappointed and hurt, being disappointed and hurt sometimes comes just as often as excitement when it comes to online dating or dating in general. I’ve been stood up before so now I mentally prep myself all the time, just in case that happens again. ( getting stood up for the first time is another story)

Since I was early, I debated back and forth if I should take off the million of layers that I had on, but I also didn’t want to come off too eager  like I’ve been there waiting for him for a lifetime so I decided to take a seat with all my layers in tact and only half zip the parka I had on. It was WINTER in Calgary so I was wearing 4 layers. I had on a T-shirt, then a sweat shirt and then a chunky cardigan over the sweater and finally my parka….lol how attractive 😉

I waited and waited and still no one, 5 minutes turned to 10 minutes and I started to freak out. I was about to give him call but as soon as I picked up my phone he walked in and sat down. He apologized that he a few minutes late, he told me he came straight from work and traffic was bad. He was working as an engineer of some sort at some office that I didn’t really know much about. He sold me at the word ENGINEER, hehehehe!

As he sat down, I stood up and began taking off the one of my many layers I had on. He looked up as I struggled taking off my over bundled parka…..this was funny and I assumed he found it cute that I was struggling so he assisted while smirking at me while helping me pull off my sleeve.

We lined up at the cashier and ordered our drinks and chit chatted about what we did so far in the day, we ordered two London fogs and went back to the table where we originally left our belongings.

We sat back at the table and it started off a little awkward, he told me in the first few minutes of our conversation that I was his first ‘ blind date” and he hasn’t met anyone online before. This put a lot of pressure on me since I wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe he felt very underwhelmed by my first impression, maybe he thought I duped him lol!

I started off with asking a lot of questions about him….like simple questions like do you have pet? He answered with a lot of closed ended answers, his responses made it very difficult to start at conversation. I laughed and I made a comment implying he was at fault for making the conversation between us so dull. He then responded with a giggle and then started to ask me questions. By now I think we overcame the awkward silence and now we were settled in and we were able to hold an ongoing conversation.

The conversation went deep fast and to this day I’m shocked by how much he revealed to me about his past. After a few laughs, he opened up. The thing that amazed me was his openness and his willingness to share about his family, his friend and his PAST ACTIONS.

Sometimes too much information becomes too intense for a coffee date and in turn becomes a huge turn off , however the information he shared with me was quite heavy but I enjoyed hearing about them. These stories might have made girls run away from him before, I however was intrigued and I pushed him to reveal more about his past.

hmmmmmm curious???? what made him a bad boy??

Well when Leo began spilling his dirty secrets this is what he revealed; that he had a troublesome past and that the rules wasn’t his friend at the age of 16-24. He seen the power of greed from men who wanted wealth fast, he has also fallen in the hands of greed and in which he was fixated on money schemes, drug life and gang warfare. Leo told me stories about his run ins with the law  when he was 16 and how he fell into the cycle of loathing himself for the actions he did but then loving the reward of dirty money.

He explained how he was able overcome the odds and why he moved here to the city. To get away from all the negative influences in his life, he pursued to finish his education and make a new name for himself. The fact that he was able to move on from his past so quickly and then to become a successful engineer made him even more attractive. Yes, his physical appearance appealed to me from the start but his story of overcoming what he went through really impressed me.

Leo said that he was lucky that he was able to accomplish what he has so far, he told me that he had a lot of family members that were still involved in his illegal past, some family members and friends were still struggling from their past actions. I always asked him, if he regretted his past and if he could re- live and undo what he grew up in….would he? Leo’s response was always ‘no’! He told me his past made him who he is and that he only hated the part in his life where he got caught.

Leo and I saw each other a few times after and I remember on the last time I ever saw him, the topic of his past was brought up. I don’t remember how we got into an argument  but I knew what the argument was about. Leo implied that he missed his past life, he missed the adrenalin rush, the excitement of fast money, the high life. The fact that he was telling me this made me angry since I could never understand why someone would want to go back to that kinda of lifestyle.

I asked why? he responded by saying, I could be making so much more…..(seriously?)

After the argument, we calmed down and I PRETENDED that he didn’t mean what he said. We spent the night together and he left the next day. A few days after, he texted me a message saying that I was a nice girl but he didn’t want to GET ME INVOLVED, that I didn’t belong in his LIFE.

Bad Boys for Money $$$